OK, the silly season is upon us so why not be silly!! Send in your favorites, here is a couple to start us off. An English man, an Irish man and an Australian walk into a pub. The English man is blind and the Irish man is in a wheelchair. They notice a man at the end of the bar that looks like Jesus. The Irish man says to bartender...that guy at the end of the bar looks like Jesus. The bartender replies, "it is Jesus" So the Irish man goes over to him as says hey Jesus, can I buy you a drink? Jesus says of course my child that would be lovely. So the Irish man buys him a pint of Guinness. Jesus then shakes his hand...The Irish man cries out...It's a miracle, I can walk, thank you Jesus. So then the English man stumbles down there and says hey Jesus, can I buy you a drink? Jesus says that would be lovely. So he buys him Newcastle brown. Jesus shakes his hand. The English man says it's a miracle I can see, thank you Jesus. Then the Aussie walks over and says, how ya going Jesus? Ya wanna beer mate? Jesus says that would be lovely my child. So he buys him a VB. Jesus goes to shake his hand. The Aussie says don't fucken touch me ya prick; I'm on bloody workers comp. Some jokes removed, mods received complaints, there are enough jokes out there that we need not post those that may insult certain subgroups of the community, k? Also, language guys.....
some more jokes Theres 3 guys, a Frenchman an Italian and an Australian, sitting in a bar swapping sex stories. The french guy say "When ive finished making love to my woman she rises a foot of the bed"not to be out done the italian guy goes " Yeah well my woman rises two feet of the bed after ive finished making love to her". Meanwhile to the astonishment of the others the Aussie guy is laughing himself stupid, and they both say "well i spose u can do better?" and the aussie replies " Yeah well when ive finished fucking my bitch i walk over to the window and wipe my dick on the curtains and she hits the fucking roof!" An Eskimo has stopped on the side of the road because his skyline has broken down, he has the bonnet up but doesn't really know what he's doing.A Kiwi in a Supra see's him in distress and pulls over. The Kiwi says "I'll have a look at it for you, I'm a mechanic" So the Kiwi has a look for a while pops his head out of the bonnet and says "I've found the problem, you've blown a seal"To which the Eskimo replies "Yer.. Well at least I don't F@$K sheep." A kiwi was in a paddock making love to a sheep. An Aussie comes past and says "Geeze mate, thats a bit rough. In Australia we shear `em" The Kiwi replies "Nah F#$K that, I ain't shearing this with anyone."
blonde joke,.... :s A blonde lady calls her boyfriend and tells him in an excited voice, he must come over imediatly and give her a hand with this killer jigsaw puzzle she jut got. "It's awsome" she tells him, "hurry on over, I can't wait to get started!" "What is it supposed to be?" he asks. "Well the picture on the box is a tiger." she replies. "It is very complicated and I cant find any starting pieces, hurry up!" He agrees to come over and heads to her house. When arrives she meets him at the door very excited. Taking him by the hand she leads him into the kitchen where the pieces are spread out over the table. Standing in front of the table squeezing his hand she says in a very excited tone, "Isn't this going to be great?" Looking at the table, the boyfriend sighs, gives her hand a squeeze and says "Babe, After we drink the coffee, we will put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
Here's one for ya 8D Seven dwarfs go to the pope.. Dopey asks the pope is there any dwarf nun's in Rome? No say's the pope. Is there any in Europe? No say's the the pope. Well is there any in the world? No said the pope. Happy gives dopey a nudge... Dopey f#*ked a penguin, Dopey f#*ked a penguin
:+) An English man, an Irish man and an Australian walk into a pub. The English man is blind and the Irish man is in a wheelchair.They notice a man at the end of the bar that looks like Jesus. The Irish man says to bartender...that guy at the end of the bar looks like Jesus. The bartender replies, "it is Jesus"So the Irish man goes over to him as says hey Jesus, can I buy you a drink? Jesus says of course my child that would be lovely. So the Irish man buys him a pint of Guinness. Jesus then shakes his hand...The Irish man cries out...It's a miracle, I can walk, thank you Jesus.So then the English man stumbles down there and says hey Jesus, can I buy you a drink? Jesus says that would be lovely. So he buys him Newcastle brown. Jesus shakes his hand. The English man says it's a miracle I can see, thank you Jesus.Then the Aussie walks over and says, how ya going Jesus? Ya wanna beer mate? Jesus says that would be lovely my child. So he buys him a VB. Jesus goes to shake his hand. The Aussie says don't bloody touch me ya prick; I'm on bloody workers comp.
Ouch. Pete was driving into the old historic section of town and found Tim, one of the bartenders at his friendly local hostelry, curled up on a kerb alongside the road in tears.He stopped the car and hollered over to him, "Hey, Tim, what the Hell happened to you?"Wiping away his tears, Tim moaned, "Look at my new 300zx convertible!" He pointed to a crashed car down the street, wrapped around a tree trunk."Oh, man, don't cry. Get the insurance settlement and just buy another car," Pete level-headedly advised."Look inside the car," Tim moaned.After looking, Pete continued to console him."Aww, dude, don't worry! You can always find another blonde."Tim looked at Pete and wailed agonisingly, "Look inside her mouth!"
Another jigsaw joke... Blonde very proud of herself for finishing jigsaw in 3 months, because on the side of the box it read "5-8 years"
A blond orders a pizza............. and when asked if she wants it cut into 6 or 12 pieces replied " 6 pieces please, I could never eat 12 ".:s :s :s
WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BLONDE AND A FRIDGE :?) THE FRIDGE DOESNT FART WHEN YOU TAKE THE MEAT OUT :-0
What drives a lesbian up the wall:?) :?) :?) A crack in the ceiling A blonde went to her mail box several times before it was even time for the mailman to make his rounds. A neighbor noticed her repeated trips to the curb and asked if she was waiting for a special delivery. Her reply, "My computer keeps telling me I have mail." :+)
Whats the difference...... between a washing machine and your girlfriend? The washing machine doesnt leak when you drop your load in. Sorry, i know this is bad taste. Speaking of bad taste.........ok no, I'll stop there.CheersJEDI-77
I love reading a blonde joke where.... ...the person who posts the joke can't even spell blonde. You must be blonde too Ian! But if you can't beat 'em.... This is what happens when you piss us blondes off with all your blonde jokes.... "There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The announcer was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was mad enough she turned her radio off. A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing. The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "You bimbo, it's blondes like you that give us all a bad name. :x If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!" Lou
A non BLONDE joke (just for Lou)....... Did you hear about the Irish vandal that went to the drive-in and slashed the seats............
End of the road for me... All my jokes are offensive, I have already received complaints about the fist lot I posted.I can't believe how easily some people get offended especially when the thread is titled " JOKE CORNER" No offence intended to the Moderators, you do what ya gotta do to keep the masses happy, I'm cool with that.Keep em coming though guys, it may help expand my repertoire, ha! ha!Cheers, Byron
