Aussie Etiquette

Discussion in 'Non Technical' started by MexiCandu, May 30, 2006.

  1. MexiCandu

    MexiCandu Grumpy of the Grampians

    Australian Etiquette

    IN GENERAL

    1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview.

    2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.

    3. It's tacky to take an esky to church.

    4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.

    5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take
    your ute and trailer to the funeral.


    DINING OUT

    1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly
    so as not to bruise the wine.

    2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.


    ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

    1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a
    taxidermist.

    2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his
    manners.


    PERSONAL HYGIENE

    1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in
    private, using one's OWN ute keys.

    2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.

    3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.

    4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste
    of finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from
    your jewellery.


    DATING

    1. Always offer to bait your date's hook - especially on the first date.

    2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to
    go out with you ever since I read that stuff on the dunny door two years
    ago."

    3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will
    say 11:00 PM, others might say "Monday."

    If the latter is the answer, it's the man's responsibility to get her to
    school on time.


    THEATRE ETIQUETTE

    1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the
    movie ends.

    2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have
    proven they can't hear you.


    WEDDINGS

    1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.

    2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your
    popularity. (Excessive use of the tongue is also considered out of
    place)

    3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund
    and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.

    4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.


    DRIVING ETIQUETTE

    1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's
    loaded and the roo's in your rifle sight.

    2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar
    doesn't always have the right of way.

    3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.

    4. When sending your wife down the road with petrol can, it's impolite
    to ask her to bring back beer too.
     
  2. Fate

    Fate Evil Genius

    HA HA HA!!! I needed that laugh!

    n/m :angry: GET IT! NO MSG HERE... :( why are we hassled with having to put a msg. I already got the point across. I thought the post was funny :(

    Why didn't this bloody thing learn that :(... Wahhhhhhhhhhh!!!

    LOL sorry
     
  3. CnsZ

    CnsZ Nectar Lover

    noob.. haha.. but yes.. i agree..

    1. The message you have entered is too short. Please lengthen your message to at least 1 characters.
     
  4. RedZedMikey

    RedZedMikey RZM should now be DZM

    Get used to it!
     
  5. RedZedMikey

    RedZedMikey RZM should now be DZM

    Look inside ETAF .....

    Fate - if you only have a short response, then get used to typing it direct into the message box instead of the title box. That way you won't get an annoying message and it doesn't cost you any extra key strikes!

    see my post above for an example - the title box is taken directly from the message - it was not keyed in separately by me.

    And yeah, Cliff's post was a good laugh (RZM hangs head in shame at a couple of them).
     
  6. Fate

    Fate Evil Genius

    :eek: OHhhhh SO thats how we do it!!!

    Thats cool. I like that!!!

    Cheers :thumbsup:

    Etaf...
     
  7. DinoZ

    DinoZ Talks sh#t for a living.

    Ohh My

    I prefer to call it Chateau Caartonne and so far 2006 is a good year!
     

Share This Page