AFL SEAT A man with tickets to the AFL Grand Final finds his seat and relaxes. As he sits down, a man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him."No", he says. "The seat is empty." "That's incredible", said the stranger. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the AFL Grand Final and not use it?""Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Grand Final we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."The stranger replies, "Oh...I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. Couldn't you find someone else - a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?"The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral." $200 bucks A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. "Hi, is Boris home?" asked Ned. "No, he went to the store." replied the wife. "Well, you mind if I wait?" asked Ned. "No, come in." responded the wife. They sit down and the friend says, "You know Sue, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one." Sue thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and Ned says, "They are so beautiful. I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together." Sue thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Ned a nice long look. Ned thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves. A while later Boris arrives home and his wife says, "You know, your weird friend Ned came over." Boris thinks about this for a second and says, "Well did he drop off the $200 he owes me?"Genie named JeannieThere once was a genie named Jeannie Who wore her shoplifted bikini. She heard a loud pop, And off came her top And had nothing on in betweenie! DOG This one guy walks up to this guy with a dog. The guy asks, "Can i pet your dog or does he bite?" The other guy replies, "Yes you can pet my dog he dosen't bite." So the guy pets the dog and it bites him. "I thought you said that your dog doesn't bite." "That's not my dog."
