post up a few if you got em, here are some.. ---------------------------------------------------- What Different Woman Say After Sex Hooker asks: "Well sweetheart, did you get your money's worth?" Mistress; "Darling, did you enjoy that as much as I did?" Wife; "Beige, beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling Beige." --------------------------------------------------------- The Flashing Wife A guy goes over to his friends house, rings the bell. The wife answers. "Hi, is Tony home?" "No, Chris, he went to the store." "Well, do you mind if I wait?" "No, come on in." They sit down and the friend says, "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I've ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one." Sara thinks about this for a second and figures, what the hell, a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows him one. He thanks her and promptly throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and Chris says, "They are just so beautiful! I've got to see them both. I'll give you another hundred if I could just see them both together." Sara say what the hell, opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her and throws another hundred bucks on the table and says he can't wait any longer for Tony and leaves. A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says, "You know, your weird friend Chris came over." Tony thinks about this for a second and says, "Well, did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?" --------------------------------------------------------------------- Ten year old Johnny rushes home from school. He invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters the kitchen. She says, "Put that away, Johnny. You can't have ice cream now. It's too close to supper time. Go outside and play." Johnny whimpers and says, "There's no one to play with." Trying to placate him, she says, "OK. I'll play with you. What do you want to play?" He says, "I wanna play Mommy and Daddy." Trying not to register surprise, and to further appease him, she says, "Fine, I'll play. What do I do?" Johnny says, "You go up to the bedroom and lie down." Figuring that she can easily control the situation Mom goes upstairs. Johnny, feeling a bit cocky, swaggers down the hall and opens the utility closet. He dons his fathers old fishing hat. As he starts up the stairs he notices a cigarette butt in the ashtray on the end table. He picks it up and slips it in the corner of his mouth. At the top of the stairs he moves to the bedroom doorway. His mother raises her head and says, "What do I do now?" In a gruff manner, Johnny says, "Get your ass downstairs and get that kid some ice cream!"
